i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
