I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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