Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
