I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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