And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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