I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
