I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just puked most of my soul out..
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