My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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