No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
