Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just had sex bonerless
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
