This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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