Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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