Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
