haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
