I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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