I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
