I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
