I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
