clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
