Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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