The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
