I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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