smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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