I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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