I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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