Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
