A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
