The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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