Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
