I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
