just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
