Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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