my shit smells like andre
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
