i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
