You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
