Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
