I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize