sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize