Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
