there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
