what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
