I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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