This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
