1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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