Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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