Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
