...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
