is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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