He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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