If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize