how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
