I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
