And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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