He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
