i permit you to call me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
