Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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