$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
