She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i've created a new STD.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
